It’s now nearly a month old, but if you haven’t seen Merlin Mann’s piece “Better,” do so now. It’s worth a full read, but here’s my favorite bit:

What makes you feel less bored soon makes you into an addict. What makes you feel less vulnerable can easily turn you into a dick. And the things that are meant to make you feel more connected today often turn out to be insubstantial time sinks – empty, programmatic encouragements to groom and refine your personality while sitting alone at a screen.
…
What worries me are the consequences of a diet comprised mostly of fake-connectedness, makebelieve insight, and unedited first drafts of everything. I think it’s making us small. I know that whenever I become aware of it, I realize how small it can make me. So, I’ve come to despise it.
http://www.kungfugrippe.com/post/48588149/better

Making us small

Finally, a dissenting voice against the non-stop caterwauling of all the twitters, flickrs, facebooks, myspaces, and virbs. It seems that these days I spend a sizable chunk of my time just trying to ignore what seems like the entire world’s autobiographical self-help essay — a mammoth feed of everyone’s ‘little details.’ Not only is there a pressure to keep up on the flow information, there’s the pressure to participate in the mess too. How many friends will I loose if I stay off of facebook? How many professional networking opportunities will I miss if I don’t ‘tweet’ with some frequency?

I read a good amount of technology culture writing, and I find it strange that so much of what’s written about this new wave of social connectedness never gives enough exposure to the ugliest reality of maintaining a comprehensive digital life — you end up sacrificing much of the ‘real’ one.

Feels good at first

I think what’s great about Merlin’s piece is how he underlines the initial pull of all these services. We all, at times, get incredibly bored at work in front of a computer. It’s just what happens after eight hours of sitting in front of a glowing box. These tools feel exciting when we first use them, because they give us a momentary escape, putting us in touch with friends we’re not physically around.

Yet like any short-lived drug, what’s new and fun at first can quickly turn into an addiction, giving constantly diminishing returns. Feeding this compulsion is that in publicly sharing your life, on some level you’re showing off to the world. What is the point of public self-documentation if not to get some response from others? Once you start to care enough to maintain and prune your self-image, it’s nearly impossible to stop.

When you mix the compulsive behavior to maintain your social profile with the subconscious desire to make the world just a little jealous, you get a cycle of constant attention that’s amazingly hard to break.

Continuous partial attention

I read a piece a few days ago that mentioned the concept of “continuous partial attention.” It’s a pretty self-explanatory idea — you’re both constantly aware, yet never fully focused. You’re aware that you’re missing information and dialogues you might want to be a part of, yet only half paying attention anyway. Fear keeps you looking, but only a little because you really need to do other things.

Sadly, this describes the majority of my mental state while I work. It’s just far too easy, working on the internet, to have both a clouded and anxious temperament. Talking to others, I get the feeling that I’m not entirely alone, either.

What’s interesting about this state of mind is that the mix of so much intimate, artistic, and useful information being fed through the ‘tubes creates an intense amount of personal fear that by turning away from things, you’ll miss out on something. Will you fall behind on your job knowledge if you stop reading tech blogs? Will you forget your friend’s birthday if you stop checking Facebook? Will you miss out on a great conference because you turned off twitter?

Unfounded fear

These last few weeks I’ve been trying harder and harder to ignore as much of the internet as I can.
Strangely, what I’ve found is that the fear of falling behind is utterly unfounded — I haven’t missed a thing. In fact, I have far more time to focus and enjoy engaging myself in things I actually care about, and reading works I’m really interested in.

Also, it’s important not to throw the baby out with the bath water — I don’t have a huge hate-on for everything that’s social, or for those who do want to be up on everything. There’s lots to like. I enjoy connecting with friends and colleagues on facebook, finding great econ articles through my friend’s shared feeds, putting up photos of my friend’s kid up on flickr, bullshitting on twitter, and pretending like I have something to say here on this blog.

However, my brain just can’t handle everything, all at once. I find it better to pick my battles, and get engaged in what I do.

In short, I find the best strategy is to ‘reset’ often — to turn off the feeds, twitter, IM, and everything for a while. Step back, and ask yourself what you really care about, and reconnect only with that which makes you happy, calm, and excited.