As I’ve failed to keep up a consistent output for this blog, one thing has become crystal clear — writing is impossible if you don’t know who you’re writing for, or why you’re writing. Today, I think I’ve finally found my crowd. It’s me, and everyone like me.
Finding comfort
The hardest thing, so far, in keeping up this this blog has been finding some level of repeatable comfort. Right now, I feel as awkward as a set of adult braces, forcing myself to write little ditties about what mouse I just got for my Macbook. I mean, I don’t want to read that, much less write it.
Why did I do it? Well, I’m trying to “write my way through” this learning period. I’m forcing myself to try things I know won’t work. So far it’s been great. I’m slowly building confidence that I can experiment with this site, and push my own absurdly restrictive limitations.
Who am I?
Without question, blogging has shown that I’m just terrible at self expression and public writing. I mean, keeping up a blog mostly scoped to web design isn’t exactly the most revealing of topics, right? It should be easier than I’m letting it be.
What’s making it hard is that I’m saying no too often. I’m pulling back, when I should be driving forward. I have tons of ideas, but I’m sitting on them — I don’t want them out unless their perfect. This is absurd. The motivation behind taking the jump to running my own design business was to have more freedom to experiment and grow creatively as a designer and entrepreneur.
Well, this is all going to change. From now on, this is a ‘yes blog’ — I’m going to use it to experiment with my persona, and try and expand my creative output.
Who are you?
Aside from my own personal hesitations with writing, one of the other blocks is not knowing who I’m writing for. Up to now, I’ve just been emulating those I read — a fine way to start, but wholly unsatisfying after a short while.
It’s become clear recently that I really want to write for the ‘silent majority’ of web designers and entrepreneurs who don’t have a voice on the web. This was me, just a few months ago — I’d read all the blogs, keep up on things, form an opinion, but keep it inside. I never posted comments, never spoke up. I understand being silent. I don’t like piling myself in on the giant flame wars, the meddling technology discussions, or the pithy nitpicking of faux-typographers.
And yet, I feel like it’s a “Good Thing” to hear a voice that isn’t all that impressed with the way things are on the intertubes these days — I really don’t get the fascination with Twitter, Facebook seems like a time suck, I don’t really use Flickr that often, and this is my first blog. And I’ve been doing this stuff since 1996. I’m an “outside/insider” and I know that I’m not alone.
Here’s to hoping I can get across an interesting perspective, one worth reading, and that I’m just not hurling more shit on the fan.
5 Comments
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Nope, you’re not alone. This is the first comment I’ve posted on a blog in… a long time.
Good piece. Inspiring, even.
Keep going.
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I’m glad you’ve found your audience, and also glad that it turns out to be me! The ‘outside/insider’ thing is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but haven’t managed to elucidate - Thanks for that too.
Looking forward to your perspective on things!
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Hi Matt, I’m a Freelance Web Designer in the UK (who also has a 9-5 job which is non-web related) and I have subscribed to your RSS feed because Jeff Croft seems to think it’ll be worth it (and he’s right…so far!)
I understand about some of the blogging hurdles you’re approaching with this - a new blog - because I’m still an occasional blogger myself. I haven’t written an article on my own site for weeks (err, months?!) now and, strangely enough, for very similar reasons that you’ve outlined - such as: ” …I don’t want them out unless their perfect.” Yeah, I’m like that still, well, that and I’ve been a bit busy redesigning the site at the moment (when I’ve got time).
Unlike you, I will leave comments all over the blogspheare (probably much to people’s annoyance, haha!) because I’m sort of chatty and it shows the site owners that I’ve been there and have something to say about things. Hopefully my comments are relevant enough, not too weak, and not going to get me pelted with rotten tomatoes!
Oh yeah, I use emoticons wayyyyy too much as well! :D
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I’m in the *exact* same boat as you, Matt. I spent a year and change writing about web design – and I mean the most boring ephemera you can imagine, like the relevance of the kbd tag – before dumping it all a month or two ago and starting over. I’m at the same point as you. I’m writing regularly, seeing if some form, some topic, anything sticks.
As to all those tools, services, whatever – I personally love them (save Facebook). But the part of me that loves them doesn’t really overlap with my interest in front end web development, which is what I do with my working hours.
There’s the me that’s interested in cultural phenomena. That part loves twitter. And then there’s the me that loves making nice markup. That part’s actually, oddly enough, more likely to gravitate towards pretty posters.
I’ve personally been too wrapped up in creating a “purpose” for my blog. I’m tired of things needing a purpose. If your blog has two heads, let it have two heads. And give each one a turn at the mic.
Or something.
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Everybody:
Thanks so much for dropping in, and leaving such great comments. It’s great to know that I’m not the only one with reservations about creative output, writing, and how to fit into this industry.